When you were born my life changed forever. I no longer was that selfish person I used to be, I shared my body with you. I nurtured you and held you close every.single.minute! I couldn't look away, you were beyond beautiful, you still are, I would drift away in those beautiful eyes of yours.
Before I knew it, it was time for your 4 month check up, then out of nowhere, daddy and I were clapping and cheering for you when you took your first steps. Just like that I saw myself shopping at target for your first day of Preschool. I felt a knot in my throat the entire time I was there, I didn't know if this feeling was normal. I was excited and so nervous to leave your somewhere else besides my care. I didn't know if it was the right time, "maybe I can wait another year" I thought to myself, but you showed me otherwise. You were so ready! You always have been. My little rock, so stubborn and demanding, yet so tiny and pure.
This year you start second grade and it's literally all you have been talking about. I'm excited for you pookie, but I'm also scared. This is when friends start becoming your center of attention, this is when you will start to learn about yourself, your individuality and discovering who YOU are. I know it, it all started when you asked if you could cut your hair to your shoulders, I cringed. I know this new season if coming, I can feel it. I'm scared that I won't know how to cope with the emotions, that I won't have the right words, or that you might not care what I think... Maybe I'm just over analyzing this too much (back-to-school blues) but I do know one thing is certain.
I want to enjoy this new season with you, I want to be present, not just here. I want to feel everything you feel and see the happiness in your eyes. School is just around the corner and I'm feeling all the feels... Did I spend enough time with you? You know, your brothers and sisters absolutely adore you, they look up to you and that should make you proud. Thank you for choosing me as your mother, for allowing me to hold you, comfort, and swaddle you in love. Thank you for you're helping hand at home, for always offering your help even when I don't need it, for being the best big sister to your siblings. We will miss you at home during the day but I promise you that we will be waiting for you at 2:45pm every single afternoon on the playground for school to be out. I promise to be supportive and understanding in all aspects and to listen and trust you always.
Sometimes I wish I could just do it all over again, have better control over my days so I could spend more time with you. But I can't. The present is here looking at me straight in the face and reminding me to live the moment. Live like theres no tomorrow and always look on the bright side of things. Remember this is just a season, and sometimes you constantly seek for the next, wishing it would hurry and get here, but just like all seasons, they come to an end, and then you miss them greatly.
So today I'm here for you, I will always be and you will always be my baby girl. I am so proud of you, keep shining because your future is bright.
Love you forever and always... and beyond!
(its our family thing) :)
Love Mommy.
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